The Bug Witch Project

(Remember the movie "The Blair Witch Project"? The movie where those filmmakers go into the woods trying to capture a sighting of the rumored witch that's been out there wreaking havoc? (At least I think that's what it was about; I kept getting motion sickness and having to close my eyes so I didn't barf in the movie theater.) Anyways, the last scene in the movie was one of the witch's victims standing in the corner facing the wall. You kind of need to know that for the rest of this to make any sense.)

Eek! I just googled images from the movie and now I'm scared!

So. I have been continuing trying to take the kids to the gym childcare center. After one day where it seemed like we were making progress, we've regressed a bit. The other day when a staff member came to get me, I walked in to find Charlie Bug standing all by herself, facing the wall Blair Witch-victim style, just crying. My heart pretty much broke right then and there...that is not an easy sight for a mom to see. I took her home, told Brian about it, and we decided to try again the next day. So, the next morning, off to the gym we went. I left a crying Charlie and an oblivious Mr. Man in the childcare center and went to sit on a bench in the hallway (nope, I wasn't even attempting to work out. I was just sitting there waiting for the staff to come get me.).

So I sat on the bench and listened to Charlie screaming and crying. That's right, I could hear her from through the doors, down the hall, and over the loud music being piped throughout the gym. I decided to text Brian so that he could share in my misery.

Me: I'm sitting in the hallway listening to Charlie scream.
Brian: Poor little bug. Is she blair witch-ing it yet?


Leave it to a dad to make jokes at a time like that! After a while I decided I'd heard enough screaming and went in to check things out. I found Charlie, who was indeed once again Blair witch-ing it... facing the wall crying her little heart out. This time she wasn't alone...she was being comforted by a concerned little girl who was probably about six years old. The several members of the childcare staff who were there were all busy talking to one of their coworkers, who was also upset about something (although not quite as upset as Charlie). One of the employees saw me come in and came over to tell me that she tried to pick Charlotte up, but Charlotte didn't want to be held. So I plopped Charlie in the stroller and we once again left the gym. (I took Jensen home, too, once I found him and tore him away from the toys and other kids.)

I'm trying to be logical here and not let the whole my-daughter-crying-in-the-corner-alone thing bug me...I know there are lots of kids in the childcare center and the staff does not have the time/resources/training/motivation/whatever to tend to my little problem child. On the other hand, the more I think about Charlotte crying by herself, the more upset I get and the more I begin to question whether the gym is the right environment for her. I feel like the staff has now labeled her as the problem child (fair enough) and they pretty much don't even try to calm her down anymore. But if I stop taking her there, am I just giving in to her and letting her win? If I keep taking her there, am I making her anxiety worse? As fate would have it, we didn't have to answer these questions today...Bug woke up with a snotty nose. (We are beginning to suspect that she takes a break from her Blair Witch-ing to find a kid who looks like he might be getting sick and, like, lick his face or something so that she too will get sick and therefore avoid the gym.)

We had the kids' 15-month checkup today so I discussed the issue with our doc. She agreed that the gym doesn't have people who are equipped to deal with kids like Charlotte (she happens to take her little boy there, so she's familiar with it). She said that their job is to pretty much just "watch the kids and make sure they don't die" (yes, direct quote). She did say that it might just be that Charlie is going through a separation-anxiety phase and that in a few months she'll be fine. At this point, it's hard to say exactly what's going on...all I know is that I wish the world could see the happy Bug that I know and love...