Don't Be Jealous...

...but my babies are totally on the road to becoming rich and famous. Why? Because each one already resembles a celebrity! Let's start with Charlotte:

One day Brian was holding little Charlie and she was (of course) smiling up at him.

Brian: "Do you know who she looks like when she smiles?"
Me: "No...who?"

(It's always fun to play who-does-the-baby-look-like. The answer is usually Mom, Dad, an aunt or uncle, or even a grandparent. But not this time.)

Brian: "Tobey Maguire!"

Yes, he was serious. Tobey Maguire, the male actor from Spider-Man. I was slightly appalled at first, but the more I looked at little Charlotte, the more I could actually see what he was talking about. Or maybe parenthood is just making us crazy...who knows?

Charlie!

Spidey!

Now, on to Jensen. I previously mentioned how he has become a victim of male-pattern baldness and has lost the hair on top of his head (although the hair on the sides of his head is still quite long). This has not gone unnoticed by my ever-so-tactful family. My brother came over yesterday and the first thing he said was, "What happened to his hair?!?" And my dad has decided that, with his new hairdo, Jensen also resembles a (lesser-known) actor: Kevin from The Office.

Little man...

 

A not-so-little man!

Poor little guy! I of course still think that my little man is the most handsome boy in the world, comb-over or not!

So there you have it...Charlotte and Jensen will surely be famous in no time! Gotta go... I only have a little bit of their nap time left to search the Internet for talent agents!

Sick Charlotte

Poor little Charlotte. I noticed she felt warm on Friday morning so I took her temp. 101 degrees. Great. So I called the pediatrician who couldn't get her in for several hours...again, great. So we took Tylenol and waited it out as she got fussier and fussier. By the time we made it into the doctor, her temp was up to 102.8 and I had a sneaking suspicion I knew the problem...another bladder infection. The doctor agreed that I might be right, so she ordered a urine culture, which meant my poor girl had to get a catheter again. But her day got even worse when they messed up the catheter the first time and had to do it twice. She was just beside herself and in so much pain from the infection, fever and catheter. She wouldn't stop screaming and I felt so horrible that I just started sobbing. I had made it through her x-rays and VCU test with no tears but enough was enough and it just made me so sad that she was being put through all this again. Anyways, long story short, it's another bladder infection.

We are really at a loss (and so is our doctor) as to why she has another one after just a month. The doctor said all she really knows to do to prevent them are the obvious things, like wipe front to back and don't reuse wipes (um, really? People do this?). We have thought of some things we might try, like not using wipes at all and just using warm water and a washcloth. Also, we heard that just giving her sponge baths instead of real baths might help since then she won't be sitting in soapy water (but it seems kinda gross to me to never give her a "real" bath). Hopefully something will work, because if Charlotte gets another one we will have to go see a pediatric urologist to find out what's going on since all of her tests came back normal...really hoping to avoid that!

Three Months!

A month of "firsts":

Charlotte and Jensen went for their first walk!

And probably our last 'til September...it's too hot!

Mom's view. And as you can see, Bailey was not left out of the fun!

Charlotte and Jensen celebrated their first 4th of July and attended their first party!

They had so much fun hanging out with Uncle Dot and Aunt Biff, Jonathan, Tiffany, Hilari, Nick, Andy, Ryan, Lindsay, Tommy and of course Guster the lab!

We made our first trip out to Lake Granbury so C and J could meet their cousins!

Jensen enjoyed chillin' with cousin Laird

Jensen wore his first pair of shoes!

Nice kicks, Buddy!

Charlotte and Jensen made their first friend!

Baby Ben came over for a visit! He is about 8 weeks older than C and J. Ben and Jensen were both wearing red baseball-themed onesies! 

Charlotte and Jensen made their first of many trips to the library!

We had so much fun meeting Mommy's old co-workers! C and J are going to be frequent library visitors...Miss Annette already gave them their own personalized library bags!
 

More "firsts" this month included their first shots (yuck!), Miss Charlotte's first x-ray, and our first time taking both babies out to a restaurant (Cheesecake Factory...it's loud in there so my mom, Tammy and I took Charlotte and Jensen for lunch one day--they did great!).

Charlotte Anne at Three Months:

11 lbs, 6.5 oz

Charlotte--our funny, funny girl. She continues to crack us up with her facial expressions and personality. We've learned that little Charlie-Bug does not like surprises--if something startles her, watch out! The screaming and crying will ensue! She is a sensitive girl for sure. She loves playing in her play yard and kicks up a storm to the music that one of her little toys plays...actually, she kicks when she's excited--it's so funny. Charlotte enjoys being read to and opens her eyes really big to look at the pictures in her books. She has also turned into a real thinker...she studies everything around her and really concentrates hard on whatever she finds interesting. For example:

"What's that in Mom's hand?"

 "It looks familiar..."

"My  toy! I love my toy!"

Charlotte has earned herself the nicknames Charlie, Charlie-Bug, Peanut Pie, and Brian sometimes calls her "Fists of Fury" because she draws her fists up and gets an intense, mad look on her face. This isn't quite as mad a face as she makes sometimes, but it's close:

Plotting world domination!

And one thing has stayed the same...Charlotte saves her biggest smiles for her dad:

Yep...Dad was holding the camera when this one was taken!


 I just like this pic...

Jensen Todd at Three Months:

13 lbs

Jensen--I cannot get enough of this little boy! His chubby cheeks get kisses all day long. I have to restrain myself from squeeeeeezing him too hard because he is so darn squeezable! Especially his chubby little feet. He smiles so big it's like he is going to turn himself inside out--he loves to smile and flirt and he has recently shown us the beginnings of a little laugh. It's like a "ha....ha....ha" sound that he can't quite figure out how to string together into a continuous laugh...so funny! Jensen found his voice last month, but he has recently found out just how loud he can be. He's such a talker! He will be playing in his play yard and just start yelling (not mad yelling, just yelling). When did he become the vocal one? We didn't see that coming! And remember how he had so much hair? He has now unfortunately become another victim of male-pattern baldness and has quite the comb-over going on. Poor little guy.

"Um, I seem to be falling over..."

"Again, falling over!"

J loves to hang with Dad!

The onesie says it all!

Here are a few pics of Charlotte and Jensen together:

Three months. A quarter of a year. It has been nothing short of an adventure. I have been peed on, pooped on, and thrown up on. I have learned what it truly means to put someone else's needs ahead of your own. I have never laughed more, cried more, worried more, learned more, and loved more. Charlotte and Jensen--thank you for the most amazing three months!

Three Months Ago Today...

Three months ago today we spent our morning in a hospital room. We were up before the sun and anxiously watched the clock and listened to the beeping of all the monitoring equipment as we awaited the arrival of our two miracles. Today, we spent our morning in our living room, Bailey at our feet. We were up before the sun again, but this time we watched Charlotte's big blue eyes as she ate her breakfast and listened to the beginnings of Jensen's first laugh. Life is good.

Resolution

I recently realized something that I should have realized a long time ago...I'm chubby. That's right, I am a chunk. And it ain't pretty. Thunder thighs on Jensen? Adorable! Thunder thighs on mom? Not so much. Double chin on Charlotte? So cute! Double chin on mom? Kinda gross. I knew I had some (okay, a lot of) baby weight to lose, but I guess I hadn't realized what I looked like until just recently. I was looking at pictures of a friend's wedding and I saw a chubby girl in the background...but this wasn't just a random chub, it was me! I didn't even recognize myself at first. Scary. And then there was my recent shopping excursion to Target. The good news? I can wear non-maternity shorts! The bad news? They are two sizes bigger than I used to wear.

When I was pregnant, it was okay to be big...but pregnancy and post-partum are two different worlds altogether. In the pregnancy world, I used stretch mark prevention cream and hoped it would work. In the post-partum world, I use stretch mark treatment cream and really hope it will work. In the pregnancy world, Brian thought it was cute when I'd out-eat him. In the post-partum world, I suspect he finds it a bit disturbing. And as much as I despised breastfeeding, it was quite a clever excuse to keep eating like a piglet ("But I need to eat this giant cheeseburger so that I'll make enough milk for the babies!").

So now I am fresh out of excuses. The party's over. Weight Watchers, here I come!

P.S. Thanks to everyone who has commented, called me, texted me, etc. to say I don't suck at being a mom because I am through breastfeeding. It really does help to alleviate the guilt! :)

Don't Tell the La Leche League...

...but I am done with breastfeeding. Sooooo done. Remember a few months ago when I was naively giggling my way through breastfeeding class? Well, the laughter stopped the first time we attempted breastfeeding. I say "attempted" because nursing the twins was an experience (to say the least) that started at day one. I have (at least in my humble opinion) the most amazing, beautiful, smart babies in the world, but when it comes to nursing, they really suck (ha ha, a little breastfeeding humor for you!). And to be honest, I don't think I'm so great at it myself. But I tried...I really did.

The trouble began the first day when the babies wouldn't latch...and the trouble continued when my milk took much longer than average to come in (my mom just reminded me about how I called her one day sobbing and saying, "I'm starving my babies!"). While in the hospital, we required the assistance of several nurses and three certified lactation consultants (including the one whose breastfeeding class I suffered through). The only way I could get them any nourishment was (TMI alert) to squeeze a few drops of colostrum onto a plastic spoon, suck it into a syringe, and feed them with that. I must have become the talk of the nurses station, because whenever they would come to my room they'd say, "Oh, you're the one that has been squeezing colostrum onto a spoon!"

A few days after we got home, we packed up and went back to the hospital to meet with another lactation consultant (seriously, was there anyone in that hospital who didn't see my boobs? I don't think so.). Shortly after that, we hired a ridiculously expensive lactation consultant to come to our home and work with us. And THEN we had a postpartum doula come and work with us on nursing (by this point I felt like there wasn't anyone in the entire metroplex who hadn't seen my boobs).

I was determined to tandem feed (both at the same time) Charlotte and Jensen so that I was not constantly feeding babies all.day.long. But as it turned out, even after they somewhat got the hang of things, I was still feeding babies all.day.long. The twins took anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half to eat. They wanted to eat about every two hours. We have to hold them upright for 20 minutes after they eat to help their food digest. So as you can see, this left little time to do anything else...sometimes I wouldn't even get up from the bed before they were wanting to eat again. They would unlatch and re-latch several times each session (ouch!) and sometimes they'd even spit up while eating, which would leave me with spit-up all over my chest and stomach...and, as you can imagine, having twin infants does not leave you with the opportunity to shower each time this happened. Gross. More fun times would ensue during growth spurts, when I was not making enough milk (despite taking all the herbs, teas, etc.) to feed both babies. They'd scream and cry while trying to eat and I would end up crying while feeling like a big fat failure for not being able to provide enough for my babies. I was miserable.

I know there are some people who are able to tandem feed their twins without any assistance, but I was never able to make it happen. I don't know what the problem was--was I doing something wrong, or are my babies just that bad at nursing? Either way, this meant that I needed someone there to help me feed them each time...Brian, my mom, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, etc. Before long, I didn't care who I was flashing as long as they could help me feed Charlotte and Jensen! I tried just feeding them one at a time, and I actually kind of enjoyed it, but they just took sooo long to eat that once again I found myself doing nothing but feeding babies.

I did try pumping and giving the Charlotte and Jensen the milk from a bottle, but I felt like I was missing out on time with the babies while I was glued to the pump. I think the last straw came when Jensen gave my mom one of his first huge open-mouthed smiles...and I missed it because I was pumping.

I felt lied to by that stupid breastfeeding class. They said that if the baby is latched correctly, it won't hurt...well, after verifying with several lactation consultants that they were in fact latched correctly, it still hurt. They said that hardly any babies will have reactions to anything their mom eats...well, mine wouldn't let me eat onions, spicy foods, or chocolate. They said that breastfeeding wouldn't interfere with your lifestyle...I guess it wouldn't if you could find a way to breastfeed twins in public, but I was definitely not that good. And my information packet said absolutely nothing about thrush, leaving me completely clueless as to why, all of a sudden, nursing the twins didn't just hurt...it really hurt.

So...it's now time to switch over to formula. I always imagined myself saying that somewhere around 6 months versus the 12 weeks we're at right now, but it's time. Since we began the weaning process, I have been so much happier. I have enjoyed the babies so much more. It doesn't sound like it makes sense, but I feel like I actually get more quality bonding time with them now. Not that the formula doesn't have its drawbacks, of course...it's stinky, expensive, and it's a pain to make all those bottles. But overall, it seems to be working out just fine.

You might be reading this and thinking that I sound really whiny, or that I'm a big fat failure, or that I should have tried harder to make nursing work. There is actually a small (okay, medium-sized) part of me that thinks that myself. I have definitely had some major feelings of guilt. But I'm trying to quiet those thoughts, and for the most part I feel good with my decision...the babies are happy and healthy and they deserve to have a happy mom taking care of them!

Edited to Add:
I wrote most of this post a few days ago (you know how it takes me several days to get anything done!) and it seems that I not only suck at nursing, I suck at weaning, too...I now have mastitis! Ugh! Breastfeeding strikes again!