Welcome Home, Mommy!

I returned from my Girls' Trip early Sunday afternoon (more on our trip in another post). The good news was that Brian is awesome and the house was clean and he had had a great weekend with Charlotte and Jensen (with help from the grandmas, of course!). The bad news was that Jensen seemed to be a little, er, blocked up. As in no poopy diapers since I had left town. (If that last sentence wasn't enough of a warning for you about what this post is going to be about, now is your official warning. Stop reading if you are faint-of-stomach! But keep reading if you like funny stories! If you are faint of stomach AND you like funny stories, then you have a difficult decision to make.)

He was obviously pretty uncomfortable for the rest of the day Sunday, and Monday he just kept getting worse. I consulted the nurse at my doctor's office, the Internet, books, and of course my sister-in-law. We tried prune juice, suppositories, and up-the-butt thermometers! Oh my! My little man was miserable...either sleeping or awake and crying (or crying in his sleep...that was the worst). Finally I called my doctor and said I wanted to bring him in. I know that constipation doesn't usually warrant a trip to the doctor's office, but I just wanted him to feel better NOW. After checking him out, the doctor decided that an enema was in order. She called in the lucky nurse to do the dirty work.

Back story: This was the same nurse that messed up Charlotte's catheter and had to do it again (understandable) and then laughed when Charlotte peed on her own, meaning we could have just used that pee instead of having to catheterize her at all. I don't think she's a bad person or anything, I just could have done without her laughing when Charlotte was so miserable.

So. Nurse inserts enema. Jensen screams. Nurse bends down to get a closer look. At that exact instant, a stuck turd becomes really, really un-stuck and, with impressive force, torpedoes out of Jensen's butt and directly towards the nurse's face. Apparently she is used to flying turds, because she raised her gloved hand at the last second and blocked the turd with expert agility. And I laughed. Fortunately, so did she.

And Jensen is feeling much better today.